I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize