break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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