another moral hangover. fuck.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
