dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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