Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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