fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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