Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
