i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
