why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
