Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
