Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
