Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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