He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
