I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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