no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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