she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
