i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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