We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
