I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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