We got so high we made milksteak
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i now understand why vodka
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
