I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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