I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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