So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
