Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
