She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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