you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Randomize