yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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