Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
