I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
