i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
