His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
