I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
