he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
