You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
