Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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