What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
