Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
