She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
