i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize