whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
