That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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