so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
