so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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