How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my poor anus
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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