Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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