Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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