5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
