Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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