So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
