if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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