Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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