I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
