last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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