Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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