There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
