Porn is love you can see.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
