problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
